


Decision Maker and the Tension Breaker, The

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-24
Updated: 2005-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-31 07:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15114749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: He didn't want to hear any of it, but there was no way he would leave CJ out there clinging on whatever she could before the storm swept her away.





	Decision Maker and the Tension Breaker, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**The Decision Maker and the Tension Breaker**

**by: Montiese**

**Pairing(s):** CJ/Leo  
**Character(s):** CJ, Leo, Toby, Grace  
**Category(s):** Drama  
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** Belongs to Aaron Sorkin, et al.  
**Summary:** He didn’t want to hear any of it, but there was no way he would leave CJ out there clinging on whatever she could before the storm swept her away.  
**Author's Note:** this is the fifth installment in the Grace Spencer series.

"Hey mom; hey Danny."

CJ looked up and smiled at her daughter.  Then she checked her watch...it was only one thirty.

"You want to tell me what you're doing here?" CJ asked.

"I got out early.  I need to talk to you."

Danny stood, excusing himself from the room.  Grace gave him a hug and kiss before flopping down on the couch.  She tossed her book bag aside with little care and took a long look at the office that used to be her father’s.  God, it seemed like a million years ago when she came in after school and played his little helper.

"I know that you are a busy woman so I won't take up much of your time.  Anyway, I have a world history test that is going to shove it up my bum in two days...I need to study."

"Colorful language aside, you don’t have to talk to me like the Chief of Staff.  Talk to me like your mother."

Grace nodded.

"You and Dad aren’t doing well." She said.

"What?"

CJ sat up straighter in her chair, crossing her leg.

"Christmas is over.  You guys did a good job faking for Callen and Prue, and it was commendable, but the relationship is coming apart at the seams."

"Grace, I don’t need you overanalyzing whatever difficulties your father and I may be experiencing right now."

"And I don’t need to be told at the last minute that daddy is moving out!"

"Curb your tone; I am not one of your friends at the mall."

"And I'm not some lackey who smiles and nods when you lie and say everything is OK.  I hear you two talking in hushed tones and I know you don’t touch him anymore."

"We are not having this conversation!" CJ exclaimed.  "You are 14 years old.  I am not going to discuss personal things between your father and I with you."

"Mom, I know about sex, I am not Prue’s age.  I know you two never whisper, never giggle anymore...the sex noises I used to always hear are nonexistent."

"Shut up Grace!" CJ stood from her chair.

Grace was taken aback by the harshness of her mother’s tone.  This was worse than she thought.  She snapped her mouth shut and for a while they looked at each other.

"Look, I don’t want my family falling apart." Grace said.  "We worked hard for this mom, and I know you love Dad."

"I do love your father, which is why we’re going to work everything out.  Things are fine."

"They’re not fine." Grace shook her head.

"OK.  Well, things will be fine.  I do not want you worried about us.  Your test should be top priority."

"Fine." She grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder.  "I don’t want you two to wake up one morning and find the gap is too big to close or cross.  I’m going to say hi to dad and then I’m going home."

She walked out the door without saying goodbye.

\---------------------------------------------------

"Do you have a few minutes?" CJ stood in the doorway to Toby’s office at 8:30 that night.

He looked up from his laptop, running his fingers over his baldhead.

"Yeah.  What is it?"

CJ came in and closed the door.  She sat down on the couch.  Toby really looked at her, and then he joined her on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two glasses.  She took a deep breath and leaned back.

"We are getting ready to have an intense conversation aren’t we?" he asked, pouring two substantial glasses.

"I think my marriage is falling apart." CJ replied.

"A simple yes would have sufficed."

"I need to talk to someone Toby.  I know this is going to make you uncomfortable and squeamish but I have no one else to go to."

He nodded.  He didn’t want to hear any of it, but there was no way he would leave CJ out there clinging on whatever she could before the storm swept her away.

"Can we make a deal first?" Toby asked.

"I am no position to turn you down."

"OK, I drink this bourbon as fast as I can to possibly zap some brain cells.  Then you have to get right to the point...no beating around the bush or using analogies."

CJ nodded.

"Alright.  Drink."

Toby drank the equivalent of a double shot, closing his eyes.  CJ poured more liquor into his glass.

"Talk to me."

"Leo and I haven’t had sex since the heart attack.  We don’t kiss, we don’t touch, a couple of months ago I suggested separate bedrooms.  We bicker, or we don’t talk at all.  Grace confronted me, but I pushed her away too.  This is not about sex Toby...truth be told if I had to give up sex with my husband as a condition of his survival I would do it in a heartbeat.  But the intimacy is gone.

"You know, I used to like to sit on his lap, or we would take baths together to shake off the day.  I would wait up sometimes and give him back massages.  We don’t dance anymore, or argue about the crossword.  We are just two people living in a house; I always promised myself that we would never be that."

"Why?" Toby asked.

"What?"

"Why is the intimacy gone?  What happened to it?"

"I'm afraid.  I am afraid that we will make love and he’ll have a heart attack and die."

"He’s better CJ."

"Sex is very strenuous."

"It doesn’t have to be.  Especially between two people who need and want each other.  Then it is the ultimate comfort.  I know how much you love him CJ.  You're upset with him because you won't let yourself show it."

"How do I stop feeling this way?" she asked, tears rolling down her face.

"Just take the leap.  You have to make love...Leo is either going to die or he won't.  I know that sounds harsh, but you know it’s the truth.  I can't imagine...I can imagine...how much he misses your touch."

CJ swallowed hard, wiping her tears with trembling hands.

"I tried a couple of times, Christmas and New Year’s Eve.  I couldn’t follow through.  Then when he tries I shut down.  I mean, really shut down.  I’m sleeping in socks and flannel pajamas Toby."

"What?  So what?"

"Leo and I always slept in the nude." She replied.

"OK, I don’t think that information was vital to me helping you, but thanks for the visual."

CJ smirked as he took a healthy sip of bourbon.  Toby put his hand on her shoulder.

"Do you feel better?"

"I don’t know.  Is my fear still valid?"

"Yes.  You were scared and didn’t know if he was going to make it.  But he did, and he needs you.  He needs you in every way a husband needs a wife.  You have to do this...you can't leave him when he needs you most."

CJ nodded.  They weren’t talking and she sipped her bourbon.  It was hard for her to look at Toby now, now that he knew more of her weaknesses.

"Is this the part when you never speak to me again because I know way too much about you?" Toby asked.

"Please.  You already know everything about me.  Want to tell me something horribly embarrassing about yourself to help ease my tensions?"

"Not really."

"Yeah; didn’t think so."

\-------------------------------------------------------

CJ tapped on the half-open door.

"I am studying daddy, I swear."

"Its mom Grace."

"I'm kind of busy." She replied.

"Well, I am coming in anyway."

"Who am I to stop you?  You do pay the mortgage here."

"No, I don’t." CJ sat down on the bed.  "Dad paid for the house up front."

"Smart move considering the current upheaval in the housing market." Grace spun around in her leather computer chair.  "What’s up?"

"I am sorry that I yelled at you this afternoon sweetie."

"You need to get laid."

"Grace!  Sometimes you need to think before you speak."

She smiled, so did her mother.

"Mom, I know its weird to you, but I do know things.  I remember what it was like when you and dad got back together.  You could hardly keep your hands off each other.  Five years later and nothing changed.  Then he had the heart attack."

"There are complications that you cannot even begin to understand." CJ replied.

"I know.  I don’t expect you to open up to me because I am just your kid.  I want you to open up to dad."

"Yeah.  I'm trying; I love him very much.  We’ve just...we've been thrown for another loop.  It becomes a bit taxing when it just keeps happening.  I am going to talk to him later tonight."

"OK.  I gotta study."

"What is this test on?"

"World history, I don’t know.  Don’t be disappointed if I bomb."

"You have never bombed a test since you started school." CJ said.

"Good, then I won't feel bad when I do this go round."

"Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it Gracie."

"Thank you Uncle Toby.  Still, it is not my history.  It’s some kid who lives in what used to be Lake Titicaca."

CJ smiled; told her there were cookies downstairs.

"Thanks.  Bye mom."

"Bye." CJ kissed the top of her head and left the room.

\------------------------------------------------------

"Seriously Nancy, I can see why you are giving Kate more responsibility in the current situation.  Still, I want you in that Palestine meeting.  The President trusts you.  With Fitz gone and Hutchison being Hutchison, I need you in that meeting.  CJ needs her allies right now."

"I couldn’t agree with you more.  I will be there...I’ll move the CIA briefing back to three.  Hey, are you avoiding lunch with me on purpose or are you really busy?"

"On purpose, of course." Leo replied, watching his wife come into the room.  "Actually, keeping my own schedule is next to impossible.  CJ has Margaret and I am a bit lost."

"Wednesday at one McGarry.  I am clearing my schedule and I am dragging you out.  We’ll have $6.50 cups of coffee like the old days."

"Ah, the old days.  Alright, I’ll make sure someone writes that down."

CJ disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  She was probably taking a bath alone, Leo thought as he tried to listen to what Nancy was saying.

"What is going on with the diplomacy trip to Jordan?" he asked.

"It’s coming together.  I delegated it to Doug from State.   CJ is talking about sending Charlie Young."

"I don’t know about that." Leo replied.  "What happened to Donna in Tel Aviv is still fresh in everyone’s mind."

"I know...especially mine.  It will be the opportunity of a lifetime.  Jordan if not a...hold on."

Nancy was gone for a minute or two before coming back to the line.

"I have to go."

"Does CJ need to come in?"

"We’re not at that point yet.  Why, do you have something romantic planned?"

Leo smirked.

"I think not.  I’ll see you Wednesday."

"Not if I see you first.  Bye Leo."

"Bye."

"I thought you would never get off the phone." CJ said.

She opened the bathroom door but Leo could not see her.

"Why?  Is there something I forgot to do?  I told Grace to load the dishwasher."

"No.  I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"OK.  Then why are you holed up in the bathroom?"

"I am not holed up...I am getting ready to gargle."

Leo listened to her gargle and then turned on the TV.  A little CNN would do his heart good.

"Turn off the TV."

"CJ..."

"What?  I said I wanted to spend time with you Leo.  Not you, Paula Zahn, and Wolf Blitzer."

"Fine.  Come out here."

"OK."

"Now."

"Dammit, give me like 2 minutes."

"Fine."

CJ walked out of the bathroom as Leo switched to C-Span.  What were the House of Representatives up to?

"Oh hey, check it out.  They're showing the Peterson..."

Leo looked at his wife and the words died before they hit the air.

"What are they showing?" CJ asked.

"Um..."

"Say something Leo."

"Um..." he sighed.  "I can't."

CJ walked over to the bedroom door, closing it.  Then she stood over his side of the bed wearing a cranberry colored bra and panty set, thigh highs, and matching high heels.

"I have a question." He finally said.

"Shoot."

"Where the hell did you find matching shoes?"

CJ threw her head back and laughed as a smile spread across Leo’s face.

"You know I don’t reveal trade secrets.  I was going to wear the dress I wore the first night...the Indonesian state dinner."

"No, this is better." He sat up and swung his feet onto the floor.

"Yeah?"

"Definitely."

He took her hand, pulling her close.  He inhaled her fragrance as his nose rubbed her stomach.

"White Shoulders." He whispered.

"It’s your favorite." She said.

"Mmm, you smell fantastic.  I have a feeling I am getting ready to wake up pretty embarrassed."

CJ looked down at his erection and smiled.

"It’s not a dream Leo.  I am going to make love to you tonight."

"I...I don’t know what to say."

"Then don’t speak."

"OK."

CJ stood him up from the bed and put her arms around him.  Leo pulled her into a kiss that seemed to last forever.

"I do need to say something." Leo said.

"OK."

"I love the romance, and the gesture baby, but I need to start now before it you know...detonates."

"No romance?" CJ asked.

"Not tonight."

"I can deal with that."

"Are you alright?" Leo asked.

CJ put her fingers on his lips.

"I'm fine.  Come on."

They went over to the bed and CJ lay on it.  She held out her arms for him and Leo fell into her embrace.  He did manage a few kisses, and a tender caress here and there.  They were both ready and he needed to get to it before his body declared it over before it started.  When he entered her, CJ pushed back into the mattress and cried out.  She couldn’t help herself.  For so long she didn’t know if she would ever feel those sensations again...the waves of ecstasy in her stomach and pelvis; his weight heavy on top of her; the dizziness in her head like she drank too much wine.

"Oh God, don’t stop!"

"You feel so damn good.  Oh God, you feel so good.  Hold me tighter baby."

CJ pulled her thighs in closer, making sure not to stab him with her high heels.

"Stab me, I could give a shit." Leo grunted.

"Right.  Until we have to go to the emergency room."

"Don’t make me laugh."

CJ lifted her thighs, pushed him deeper inside of her.

"Come inside me!  Now!"

"Shh, you'll wake..."

"Dammit Leo, now!  Now, now, now!"

He didn’t respond as he thrust harder inside of her.  CJ bit into his shoulder; he moaned both pain and pleasure as he climaxed.  Collapsing against her, Leo looked at his watch.

"What are you doing?" CJ asked.

"Almost eleven minutes.  I didn’t know that I had it in me."

"Are you OK Leo?" she caressed his face.

"Yeah baby, better than OK.  I feel fucking fantastic."

CJ smiled.

"You know what?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

Leo rolled over to his side of the bed.  CJ put her hand over his heart.

"Grace is going to know exactly what we were doing in here."

"Hey, you were the one screaming." Leo replied.

CJ laughed, and it was music to her husband’s ears.

"We had a fight today, Grace and I.  It made me do a lot of thinking."

"About what?"

Leo turned on his side, chin in palm.  CJ’s hand slid down from his calming heartbeat to his bypass scar and onto the mattress.

"About you and I.  You’re here and I love you, and if I can't show you then we both may as well be dead."

"Grace told you that?  Did you have the talk with her yet?"

"I did that before we got married.  Toby helped...on the thing with us."

"Toby knows.  Oh God." He groaned.

"Shush, stop it.  I had to talk to someone."

"Someone I had to look at tomorrow?"

"Stop it." CJ laughed.

"OK, OK.  Come here."

Leo pulled her into his arms.  There was a knock on the door.

"Wait a minute." Leo called out.

"Leave your clothes off." Grace said.  "I'm going to bed.  Goodnight guys."

"Goodnight kid."

"Goodnight sweetie."

Leo kissed his wife and CJ cuddled in his arms.

"You'd know what I’d like?" CJ asked.

 "What?"

"Round 2." She looked at him, smiling like he hadn’t seen her in months.

"You're not worried I am going to have a heart attack?" Leo asked.

"I can't say that I am not.  I can say that I love you, I want to show you, I miss us, and I can deal with my fears."

Leo kissed her mouth.

"I think I have another 11 ½ minutes or so in me." He draped his body above hers.  "I love you too Claudia Jean."


End file.
